What's Your Raa-cheeee?!

The writers and makers of this film do not profess any belief in or knowledge of Astrology.
This is the opening line of WYR and by the end of this 3 hour 21 minute train wreck of a movie, you feel they should have added 'Film Making' to the disclaimer as well.
It's my serious recommendation to people who are suffering from depression to not watch this film as it might drive them to commit suicide coz let's face it this movie leaves you with no hope!


Right so the movie starts to piss you off from the moment the credits start to roll. The title track is supposed to be this cool jazzy track, with lots of sax and trumpet and piano, which then goes onto be butchered by Sohail Sen's (son of Sameer Sen) vocals. Dude seriously... I don't know jack about music making but to sing 7 of the 13 songs in the movie is a bit much eh?! I guess it's also doesn't help that Harman Baweja is trying to do this cutesy, goofy, I-don't-know-what act while the opening credits are on.

So the retarded plot line goes something like this - There's an old fart living in the gaon who wants to bequeath his entire property and jayadaad etc to his grandson provided he gets married. Said grandson Yogesh (Harman Baweja) is living the life in Chicago where (in the span of about 100 seconds) he awakens from his sleep as a student, then goes to college, followed by becoming some kind of corporate honcho in a snazzy suit and then my favorite part, DJing in the nightclub. Talk about a full plate...

Anyway Yogesh's elder brother is in some financial shit and owes big bucks to some moneylender and bhai types. Yogesh has to marry by the 20th of the month because so freakin astro janamkundli crap said so. Upon which he will get the Grandpa's wealth and bail the family out of its financial woes. One night he can't sleep and so picks a book called Whats Your Rashee which talks about how there are 12 (?!) different kinds of women.

OK I have to break off and apologise at this point... I'm sorry I can't write any more bout this film's "story". Because that means that I have to skim-watch it again and I just do not have the stomach for it. So I'll end the description of the "story" quickly.

Yogesh meets 12 different chicks from the different rashees and they all look like Priyanka Chopra. So who does he end up marrying?? The one that looks like Priyanka Chopra. No I'm not being flippant coz by the time the great reveal happens at the end, you are past caring... past hope...

Harman Baweja needs some serious acting lessons and if he's already taken some, then his instructor needs to be taken out back and shot. Repeatedly. Like the Bear Jew doing a face shred on Hitler. Or failing that this is also an acceptable option. Yes yes, I'm a fan of the man's work.
Anyway back to Harman, dude... if you wanna make it in this industry you gotta work loads on your acting. And that voice. Oh. My. God. I've had more pleasant feelings when someone dropped a brick on my privates (true story btw... and yes the family jewels are quite alright thank you).
OK that's too harsh or maybe not. There was another squeeky voiced kinda effiminate actor whose debut movie I had the misfortune of watching back in '92. And I honestly believed then, that me being in a threesome would happen sooner than him ever making it in this industry. Now Harman, you have a ways to go before you get to where Saif Ali Khan is today but to that man's credit he put it the effort to improve his voice, his acting and his physique. Shows what results good honest effort will produce.
Sigh... still waiting on that threesome in the meantime...

Now I really like Priyanka Chopra and believe she is truly the best actress from her contemporaries. She came out shining like a diamond because the rest of the production around her was soooo bad. That's not to say she wasn't guilty of some overacting herself but in the context of the whole film... what's that Hindi muhavra... Kamal in the khichad or something...

The main villain in this movie was not that bhai character. No sir. That particular honour goes to Ashutosh Gowarikar, the film's director. I still can't say whether he's a good director or not because for me he has such a hit-n-miss record:-
  1. Pehla Nasha (1993) - total dabba
  2. Baazi (1995) - I remember liking this movie
  3. Lagaan (2001) - Just cannot touch this one!
  4. Swades (2004) - Enjoyable
  5. Jodhaa Akbar (2008) - Havent seen it but people whose opinion I trust say it kinda sucked
  6. What's Your Rashee? (2009) - I will pay you not to see it!
  7. Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Sey (2010/11) - This movie stars Abhishek Bachchan. And I'm gonna punt here and say that flop hone wala hai. Khoon mein likh ke deta hoon. Come back here when it releases and tell me it wasn't so!
I have long suspected this guy's skills as a director and I'll tell you why. You gotta discount any project with Aamir Khan in it coz he is such a perfectionist that he will get all the flaws in the script taken care of before the movie is shot. Secondly there is that urban legend that AK ghost-directs all his movies. Swades has the starpower of Shahrukh and he was quite restrained in the film too which was a good change from the usual k-k-k-krap. I'm not sure why Jodhaa Akbar did well... maybe it was the lead pair. But then for whatever inexplicable reasons, retarded movies like Masti and Singh is King have also set the boxoffice on fire in the past. I'm still waiting to be convinced Mr. Gowariker...


Man where do I even begin??!! There's way too many so I'll just pick one... or three. Harman's accent. All over the freakin' place... The lousy camera work. There were some shots in there which even a lay movie watcher like me could point out as obviously flawed. Oh and that awful 'Suu Che' song. Gujju people - I love y'all. You have given this world great things like The Mighty Thepla, that saving grace of a snack which has rescued me from hunger pangs many a night after drunken binges and returning home to find no regular food in the fridge. (On a side, Gujju people have perfected the art of making seemingly healthy looking and sounding junkfood. Good on ya!)
I digress but pls please pleasseeee do not dignify this song by dancing to it at your dandiyas and what-not.


I know in my PSA I mentioned that a nice comment must be written no matter how bad the movie. For this I can't. Period.


* - Ughh I can't do half a star but 0.5/5 it is for this atrocious 'film'. The half star is for Priyanka btw. You know I always recommend bad movies to people to watch while drinking a few or smoking up coz it's just hysterically funny because it's so bad. Can't subject anyone I like with this movie.

Coming soon!
Kurbaan and The Brothers Bloom

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