Prince of Jeeeeezzz!

Hello hello been a while and I felt bad that this blog was gathering dust so decided to whip out the old fluffer and do something about it. This time's torture my friends is truly a classic! All the reviewers I respect said that this movie was so bad it was worth a watch. They were right and they were SO FUCKIN' WRONG! Prince as a movie left me drained. I was on a break out of the city when I saw it and feel like I need another one.

REVIEW:-

Prince is a thief. Apparently.
I say Apparently coz the pseudo-Batman getup made me wonder.
He wakes up one fine morning in a remote South African mansion having lost his memory.
No... his name is Prince not Jason Bourne. There's even an ID card in the movie to prove it.
Yes... you read correctly. An ID card which has Prince on it. One name... like Bono... or Cher.

Why am I watching this movie?

Prince is accosted by different women who wanna and do have sex with him.
Sex with Prince... good for Prince... I'm guessing not so great for the women.
There's some coin which is super important.
No one knows where it is and of course Amnesia Boy is really no help at all.
Coin causes Prince to go into some kind of retard spasms which kinda look like dance moves for some reason.

Still wondering why I am watching this movie?

More shit happens... no wait I think I'll call it feces... it sounds dirtier.
The coin is being hunted by everyone in the movie.
But eventually Prince...

There's a packet of slice bread here and a bottle of Iodex by the bedside... hmmm...

It's all a blur folks and for once I am sooo glad it is.

This is the real story of Prince.
Kookie Gulati (El Director) was a young lad when Kumar Taurani (El Producer) broke into his house and killed all the men and raped all the women. Young Kookie vows to avenge his tragic loss.
Years later he begins to work in the industry. He slowly starts wining the trust of KT who eventually allows him to direct a music video. From there Kookie goes from strength to strength till he breaks into the movies assisting on Bollywood movies. Slowly but surely he inveigles himself further into the inner circle of KT.
He knows the only way to exact revenge is to hurt KT financially. He convinces KT to invest in a 40 crore project with Vivek Oberoi as the LEADING MAN.
Release weekend - Kookie rides into the sunset thinking, "I have gangraped KT with this farce of a movie. Vengeance is finally mine..."


PISS OFF ELEMENT:-

This movies is a never ending sequence of Piss off elements. There was soooo much crap being talked about the coin. Oooh scarryy coin... ooohhh mean coin.... Shut up!
Not to mention the plot holes so big the Grand canyon might seem like a coin slit on a PCO.

NICE COMMENT:-

The movie has been shot quite well. Like a friend said, "Tabyet se paise kharch kiya hai...". Some of the FX were pretty good.
Also those fake tats on Nandana Sen... Nice! That's tattoos... not a typo... dirty mind!

RATING:-

No... I don't think so.

Rub-a-Dub

So last night I was in the middle of my nightly online poker game, I needed something to keep me a touch distracted and so help me, but I chose to watch Aladin... Bollywood's version not the Disney thang. It's a good thing I was playing poker on the side coz if I had to devote more than the half-attention I did, I might have suffered from a brain aneurysm or something equally pleasant...

REVIEW:-

Aladin Chatterjee (Ritesh Ritish Ritiesh... no that doesn't look right.. Riteish?! yeah ok... Riteish Deshmukh) is one of those aww-gee-what a poor thing kinda guy who is bullied the fuck out of by his school mates. Special word about Sahil Khan who plays Chief Bully. Hopelessly hammy, his hair looks funny and I am quite sure he had his eyebrows waxed or shaved coz they looked funnier than his hair! I also think the man swallows a bottle of steroids after every meal coz nothing else explains the wierd way his triceps would leap out of the side of his arm in some scenes. I mean there's ripped and then there's Oh-God-those-can't-be-veins-I-think-I-threw-up-little. Don't believe me??! Apni nazar neechey karo and see for yourself...

Right so new girl in college Jasmine has our boy all sweaty and giggly and he would love to make her his but jack shit happens till the lamp turns up and he wastes two wishes on getting the girl and then un-getting her. And then he pisses away the third wish on her too! Now Amitabh who plays Genius the Genie is so bad, you almost gotta feel a little sorry for him. There's loads of overacting and when I say loads think of 16-wheeler semi-truckLOADS of bacon. And then in the middle of all this ham is the quite out of shape and haggard looking Sanjay Dutt as the Ringmaster. He travels around with his equally hysterical coterie of circus freaks who are part of the fantastical (ly horrendous) characters that parade through this film. Except for the masked girl playing RM's main squeeze who's got a smokin' hot bod (yum), jiggles about in a belly dancer's costume (do you serve fries with that??) and blows fiery (literally) hot kisses to people who rub her the wrong way.

There's some convoluted plot which involved the Genie and the Ringmaster and bits of the lamp and Aladin being the One and some comet whose shadow needs to be captured (yeaah! no seriously... I do wish I had been smoking up). Anyway the usual crap of Good guys win Bad guys die happens by the end of it. I couldn't care less honestly because all I was concerned about at that time was my poker game and the fact that I wanted to watch the song called You May Be which I quite liked... although maybe less now after I saw the torture of a movie.

PISS OFF ELEMENT:-

Waaaayyyyy too much overacting from EVERYONE. This might actually have been a mildly passable film had people controlled themselves just a wee bit.

NICE COMMENT:-

Jacqueline Fernandes... oh sweet sweet Jacqueline. Wow what a good looking girl and with no disrespect to Sri Lankans, this girl is ridiculously fairer than most of her countrywo/men. Hell she could pass off for a white girl easy. Also whoever did her dubbing was just great coz I'm guessing this girl doesnt speak Hindi and whoever did the dub was mondo good.

RATING:-

*.25 - 1.25 out of 5 for Sujoy Ghosh's cinematic piece of shit disaster Aladin. Half a star for the yummy bellydancer and Jacqueline each and a quarter for You May Be.